I know you need to hear “it’s going to be okay,” right now more than ever, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like that.
I know you need to hear “keep doing what you love,” but maybe you know longer “love” that activity anymore and now you’re simply doing it because you have to.
I know you need to hear “it will get better,” right now, but let’s be real > what if it doesn’t? What then?
I know what you’ll say, “I’m just trying to stay positive.”
I get it.
But, what if “staying positive” is masking how you really feel? What if “putting on a brave face” is teaching you not to deal with your emotions? What if it’s making you brush it off and bury them further and further down until it finally catches up to you?
You feel like you’re suffocating/drowning in your own thoughts/emotions/feelings?
You can no longer handle it all and you crumble at the drop of a hat.
Yeah, I know it.
I get it.
Life is tough sometimes. Let’s not sugar-coat it. It sucks royally and the pain/discomfort/anger/frustration is
UNBEARABLE at times.
I’m here to say this >
You want you to FEEL it. I want you to feel all the emotions even if they aren’t something you can face.
You’re going to have to at some point because the stress of life will get to you.
You won’t remember to breathe because your emotions will take over and the simple tasks will become more & more difficult.
Everything before kids was much simpler.
No tantrums. More time for yourself. You didn’t worry about anyone stealing your food. You could go anywhere/do anything at all hours of the night. You were able to sleep through the night.
I miss it.
Some days I find myself on social media most of the day “looking” for something. What that “something” is I’m still not sure.
Maybe for the person I used to be? Maybe for the girl who didn’t let anyone or anything get in her way when it came to her career.
Now, I find myself just taking care of my daughter.
Not to say there’s anything wrong with that, but now, I want MORE.
I want more out of life.
I want to do more. I miss working. I miss being busy.
And, it’s okay to miss your life BEFORE kids.
So, how am I going to change my mindset? Where do I go “from here?”
It’s for me to decide how I want to spend the days/hours/years.
I either spend it missing my old life or by focusing on the new and beautiful memories I’m making with my daughter. There’s no reason why I can’t focus half my attention on my daughter and the other half on a career.
Thanks for listening. Thanks for allowing me to make you think.
a dash of hope 