I got mad at her for not napping.
I got mad at her for not sitting her butt down & eating.
I got mad at her for crying as I cooked dinner.
I got mad at her because I needed a fucking minute to breath & she was letting me.
I am human, just like you.
I lost my temper. I felt the anger building up inside, but couldn’t push it away. I needed a break. I needed time to “re-group.” I needed time to collect my thoughts. To write them down. To process them. To throw them away.
I was pissed at myself for getting to that point. The guilt set in for losing my cool. But, the beauty about children is they forgive.
They do forgive, but they don’t forget.
I don’t want these “moments” in which I lost it to be a bad memory of hers. I don’t want to fuck her up psychologically. I don’t want to be the reason she’s in therapy in the future because mommy couldn’t “keep it together.”
Most of us don’t think that way, but it’s reality. The scary truth is every behavior you do, they are learning, studying and may exhibit it in the future or right now. They are sponges. They are absorbing our every move and if we move incorrectly, that’s it.
We as a society HAVE to do better. We have to teach our children not to be racist, that m@sks are NOT normal, not to feel like they can’t be themselves (re being cen$0red), to be kind, gentle and confident beings who believe in themselves.
I am VERY patient with my daughter, but when I so desperately need alone time and the nap ain’t happening, I get frustrated. But, I need to learn how to control my emotions & calm the fuck down because I always feel guilty afterwards.
Do you ever have “those” days, “those” moments and feel bad afterwards? Tell me what you do when you’re feeling guilty for getting mad at your kiddos?