During my pregnancy, I never questioned much.
I went along with the standard procedures without asking a ton of questions. And, I should have, but I can’t go backwards, I can only go forwards.
So, here I am. healing from my dang pregnancy, postpartum & birth. after 18.5 months. It wasn’t traumatic in a sense that I needed forceps, emergency surgery or anything like that. It was more of what I went through during, and afterwards that made me feel quite uncomfortable and brought flashbacks.
For example, you know starting around 35 weeks, they check you “down there” at every appointment. I actually rejected that idea because I cannot stand being touched.
You had the same thing done to you, but did you ever really think about how uncomfortable you felt?
How awkward it was?
How you didn’t want ANYONE besides your significant other down there? Yeah, me too, but I let it happen because I didn’t know any better.
Here’s something SO simple most of you aren’t aware of. YOU are the one in control of your pregnancy, not your doctor who stresses you out, makes you feel like a bad mom, puts added pressure on you & makes you worry for sometimes nothing.
When the glucose test came, I didn’t feel comfortable taking it, but I did it because it was part of the process. Then, they convinced me I HAD to take the v@ccines in order to “protect the baby.” bull-shit!
I was told I had preeclampsia & had to be induced, but did I really? I felt fine & my baby girl was a-okay, but yet, I was still given pitocin in order to be induced. Then, when they tried to go “up there” to see if I was dilated, I closed up. I wasn’t comfortable with someone putting their freaking finger up my vagina, so there I was having to get the epidural just so he could check. smh!
And, then there’s nursing. fuck!
I had no idea what I was doing. The nurse helped me latch, but holy hell did it hurt. My nipple was bruised & I felt like a shitty mom because society makes you feel that way when you have to give formula. I was devastated when I had to temporarily give her formula like it was some sort of poison object.
She was never a “good sleeper,” so here we were trying to sleep train her around 4 months because, well, society won!
I always felt like I needed to seek advice from other moms. I never felt confident in my abilities as a mother to listen to my dang self and it’s sad really.
I’m going to tell you about a concept I never knew about until recently > FREE BIRTH! I can have the birthing experience YOU desire. You can have it at your house, in a hospital, in a tub, in a birthing center, etc. There isn’t a “right” or “wrong” way. It’s how YOU want it to be.
I thought the “only way” was the medical route and I was wrong. In fact, you don’t even NEED to see a gyno your entire pregnancy! Did you know that? Did you know you don’t need to go through the horrid glucose test, dilatation process, answer the questions, follow along with society? Now you do!
I wanted to educate you on this concept in case you’re like me where you want your 2nd pregnancy to be COMPLETELY different from your first or maybe you’re pregnant now and are looking for different routes. Well, my dear, I want you to do your research.
I don’t want you to listen to ANYONE besides YOU!
Do not let anyone sway you in a certain direction just because it worked out for them.
Be your own advocate.
Just know you have THE OPTION to say NO!