When my daughter was born, my parents came for a week.
I knew when they left, I would be devastated because I would no longer have the help I needed. My husband has his own business, so he makes his own hours, which is good and bad. He was working every day the first week we brought her home because he knew my parents would be around to help me with stuff around the house and my daughter.
You see, I was never a baby person, so I stepped into this role with sort of a blind eye. While pregnant, I googled and learned a ton, but not enough to prepare me fully for what was ahead.
Shit, guys, I’m not going to sugarcoat it, when my parents left, I sat in the bathroom and cried for 10 solid minutes. My hormones were (and still are) raging, so I was feeling all kinds of different emotions and I still am! But, I knew once they left, I would be a mess.
Despite being sad, I picked my sorry ass off the ground and pressed on because 1) I wanted to move here, so there was always a possibility that I would have kids and not have family around 2) I needed to learn. My whole life has been spent relying on my parents and I needed to break that cycle. I needed to do this on my own and feel confident in my abilities as a mother.
Was I scared? Hell yeah, but I’m not the only person who doesn’t have family around. I’m not the only person who doesn’t know much about babies. I’m not the only person who is learning because my daughter is learning just the same.
So, making it seem like I’m alone is ridiculous because I do have a group of moms that I reach out to for questions. It could be worse! I could have absolutely NO ONE to go to or seek help from, so I need to stop being so damn negative, which is what I’ve been telling myself. My lack of confidence is showing and I must say it’s quite ugly. No one WANTS to hear you talk about the same damn insecurities over and over again. No one WANTS to hear you pose the same question over and over again. This is something that’s been happening to me lately.
Sure, I can talk about my lack of experience and being transparent about how I’m feeling, but I also need to remember to put a positive spin on it because it could be SO MUCH WORSE.
So, if you have no family around and are feeling vulnerable, I’m here to say you’re NOT alone! You can even reach out to me if you’d like because I get it!