Do you know what a FREE BIRTH is?

During my pregnancy, I never questioned much. 

I went along with the standard procedures without asking a ton of questions. And, I should have, but I can’t go backwards, I can only go forwards. 

So, here I am. healing from my dang pregnancy, postpartum & birth. after 18.5 months. It wasn’t traumatic in a sense that I needed forceps, emergency surgery or anything like that. It was more of what I went through during, and afterwards that made me feel quite uncomfortable and brought flashbacks.

For example, you know starting around 35 weeks, they check you “down there” at every appointment. I actually rejected that idea because I cannot stand being touched.

You had the same thing done to you, but did you ever really think about how uncomfortable you felt?

How awkward it was?

How you didn’t want ANYONE besides your significant other down there? Yeah, me too, but I let it happen because I didn’t know any better. 

Here’s something SO simple most of you aren’t aware of. YOU are the one in control of your pregnancy, not your doctor who stresses you out, makes you feel like a bad mom, puts added pressure on you & makes you worry for sometimes nothing. 

When the glucose test came, I didn’t feel comfortable taking it, but I did it because it was part of the process. Then, they convinced me I HAD to take the v@ccines in order to “protect the baby.” bull-shit!

I was told I had preeclampsia & had to be induced, but did I really? I felt fine & my baby girl was a-okay, but yet, I was still given pitocin in order to be induced. Then, when they tried to go “up there” to see if I was dilated, I closed up. I wasn’t comfortable with someone putting their freaking finger up my vagina, so there I was having to get the epidural just so he could check. smh!

And, then there’s nursing. fuck!

I had no idea what I was doing. The nurse helped me latch, but holy hell did it hurt. My nipple was bruised & I felt like a shitty mom because society makes you feel that way when you have to give formula. I was devastated when I had to temporarily give her formula like it was some sort of poison object.

She was never a “good sleeper,” so here we were trying to sleep train her around 4 months because, well, society won!

I always felt like I needed to seek advice from other moms. I never felt confident in my abilities as a mother to listen to my dang self and it’s sad really.

I’m going to tell you about a concept I never knew about until recently > FREE BIRTH! I can have the birthing experience YOU desire. You can have it at your house, in a hospital, in a tub, in a birthing center, etc. There isn’t a “right” or “wrong” way. It’s how YOU want it to be.

I thought the “only way” was the medical route and I was wrong. In fact, you don’t even NEED to see a gyno your entire pregnancy! Did you know that? Did you know you don’t need to go through the horrid glucose test, dilatation process, answer the questions, follow along with society? Now you do!

I wanted to educate you on this concept in case you’re like me where you want your 2nd pregnancy to be COMPLETELY different from your first or maybe you’re pregnant now and are looking for different routes. Well, my dear, I want you to do your research.

I don’t want you to listen to ANYONE besides YOU!

Do not let anyone sway you in a certain direction just because it worked out for them.

Be your own advocate.

Just know you have THE OPTION to say NO!

How to Diet Properly & Actually Lose Weight (in 6 Steps)

You’re trying to lose weight, but it’s harder than you thought.

You feel frustrated and angry that you’re unable to shed the weight as easily as your co-workers.

Did you ever think that there could be more to it than just losing weight? There could be underlying issues that haven’t been addressed.

I mean, you hear it alllll the time!

Try this XYZ diet & you’ll shed those pounds. Of course, you will. I’m not saying you won’t, it’s just will you KEEP it off? Also, during the diet, you start depriving yourself & fall into a DEEP, DEEP hole once the weight comes back.

Not to mention, you can only enjoy salad so many days in a row. Am I right? It gets BORING & watching your co-workers eat cookies and cake in front of you is PURELY EVIL.

I want you to stop following the advice of “so-called professionals” who tell you you can’t eat this, that & everything else.

HERE are a few steps you NEED to take before you start altering your food choices.

STEP 1: focus on the inside before the outside.

I want you to ask yourself the following questions –

are you emotionally stable?

how’s your mental health?

are you an emotional eater?

are you happy with your life?

are you in a good head space?

are you struggling with anxiety, depression, or stress?

Here are a few things you can do to help yourself –

  • free write – every morning, jot down your thoughts. write down whatever comes to mind and don’t stop until you feel a bit lighter.
  • seek professional help – if you feel as if you’re struggling with sifting through your thoughts, a counselor is always an avenue you can explore!
  • learn to love yourself – you need to ask yourself why you don’t love yourself in the first place. Explore your past by asking questions about your childhood, family life, environment and relationships.
  • meditate – there are plenty of youtube videos out there that will guide you through a meditation
  • practice daily gratitude – every day, list the top 5 things you’re grateful for
  • daily affirmations – each morning, recite 5 positive things you love about yourself

STEP 2: get rid of toxic people

Focus on who you’re surrounding yourself with. Do you feel like you are dealing with toxic people who put you down instead of lift you up? If you feel like these people are bringing you down, you should consider cutting ties with them. If you don’t want to exile them for good, consider spending less time in their company.

Here are a few things you can do to help yourself –

  • set boundaries – don’t just say “yes” every time someone asks you for something
  • set a time limit – tell the person you can only help them from 1pm – 3pm.
  • don’t provide an explanation – if you simply don’t have the bandwidth to keep saying yes, don’t feel like you always need to explain yourself
  • create an exit strategy – if you feel like a situation is getting out of hand, kindly excuse yourself
  • only apologize when you mean it – only say sorry when you make a mistake
  • do activities that make you feel good and energized – write down your top 3 favorite things you enjoy doing

STEP 3: create a meal plan

think whole foods – fruits, veggies, protein, complex carbs, less processed foods, frozen dinners, junk food, sugar. You can definitely still have sweets once in a while, but swap out the refined sugar for coconut sugar, maple syrup or honey! Add in veggies such as black beans (yes, they’re considered a vegetable) , zucchini, and sweet potato to your desserts!

Healthy Swaps >

refined sugar  ———>   coconut sugar/honey/maple syrup

butter ——–>   coconut oil

sugary drinks ————> water infused with fruit

sour cream/mayo   ———>  grass-fed yogurt/plant-based yogurt

rice ———> quinoa

white pasta ———>  chickpea pasta

STEP 4: Exercise

at least 30 minutes a day – any sort of movement is 🔑

  • yoga                                 
  • meditation
  • go for a walk
  • bike ride
  • Pilates
  • swimming
  • jogging
  • treadmill
  • kickboxing
  • elliptical

STEP 5: learn how to handle stressful situations

learn what triggers your stress.

learn how to feel less stressed.

learn how to de-stress from a stressful situation.

ask yourself – what can I do before a stressful situation arises?

Here are a few things you can do to help yourself –

  • write down the top 3 stressors in your life so you can avoid a stressful situation before it occurs
  • describe how you feel when you’re stressed
  • make sure you fit in small acts of self-care on those days
  • think about what you can do in that given moment to calm yourself down
  • be extra kind to yourself on the days you feel most stressed
  • in a stressful moment, do deep breathing exercises

STEP 6: implementation

utilizing these strategies will be key to actually losing weight and feeling good about yourself!

——————————————————————

Hoping this guide will help you finally lose weight!

This is why I deleted Instagram & Facebook Off my Phone

I sat in a cold, dark room with the blinds down, white noise, humidifier and diffuser on while my daughter napped nearby.

I used to write.

I used to write every single day. I used to read. I used to use my time trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I used to workout.

But, then, I watched myself surf on my phone scrolling through social media just to get through the day. I was addicted to clicking on that app and seeing what people were posting. I promised myself I’d only spend a few minutes there, but “a few minutes” turned into 30 which turned into an hour and left me feeling empty.

What did I learn? How did that benefit me? Did it make me a better person?

No.

No, it didn’t.

All it did was waste my time.

What I learned is that it was….. TOXIC.

It was a bunch of people complaining, calling each other names, “conspiracy theorists” when in fact the science/research is out there, but people just don’t want to believe it.

They don’t want to believe the government is corrupt and they don’t give a rat’s ass about you or I.

Was it hard to digest that information?

Yup.

But, you need to know that.

Getting back to the social media thing….. I used to log onto facebook ONCE a week. It used to be something I looked forward to. And, instagram and twitter were the same thing.

Then, I found myself logging on SEVERAL times a day. It became addicting.

So, yesterday, I decided to DELETE Instagram and Facebook.

I don’t know when I’ll re-install them. It probably won’t be until I start getting back to what I used to do.

I mean, part of me feels guilty because I’m not making connections for my business/creating content for my followers/educating others on my services, but I needed a break.

What is going on with the world is depressing and I’m trying to limit my time on social media.

Corruption. Censorship. Dictatorship.

I couldn’t deal with it.

The fact that vax-injuries are being covered up disgusts me. My daughter was injured by shots and so, I feel even more pissed.

BTW – you can think what you’d like about the above statement. You are entitled to your own opinion as am I, so I’m not interested in anyone “coming for me.”

It’s okay to take a break from all the chaos and information out there. Don’t feel guilty for that (this is what I tell myself).

I am tired of the drama.

I am tired of people being so blinded by the news/government.

I am tired of people being so naïve.

I am tired of others not having their own opinions.

I am tired of people “following the crowd.”

Let me clue you in on sometimes you may/may not have known…..

this “vax” is NOT FDA approved. It failed in alllll the animal trials. VAERS only reports 1% of adverse side effects from vax. It doesn’t prevent you from getting covid. You still have to wear a mask/social distance.

WHY are you letting someone tell you what to do?

What aren’t you thinking for yourself?

What are we allowing this to happen and not speak up?

When are you going to start standing up for yourself/family/friends?

When will YOU wake up?

See how hard this stuff is to hear. Maybe you need to get off social media too!

My thoughts for the day

I know you need to hear “it’s going to be okay,” right now more than ever, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like that.

I know you need to hear “keep doing what you love,” but maybe you know longer “love” that activity anymore and now you’re simply doing it because you have to.

I know you need to hear “it will get better,” right now, but let’s be real > what if it doesn’t? What then?

I know what you’ll say, “I’m just trying to stay positive.”

I get it.

But, what if “staying positive” is masking how you really feel? What if “putting on a brave face” is teaching you not to deal with your emotions? What if it’s making you brush it off and bury them further and further down until it finally catches up to you?

You feel like you’re suffocating/drowning in your own thoughts/emotions/feelings?

You can no longer handle it all and you crumble at the drop of a hat.

Yeah, I know it.

I get it.

Life is tough sometimes. Let’s not sugar-coat it. It sucks royally and the pain/discomfort/anger/frustration is

UNBEARABLE at times.

I’m here to say this >

You want you to FEEL it. I want you to feel all the emotions even if they aren’t something you can face.

You’re going to have to at some point because the stress of life will get to you.

You won’t remember to breathe because your emotions will take over and the simple tasks will become more & more difficult.

Everything before kids was much simpler.

No tantrums. More time for yourself. You didn’t worry about anyone stealing your food. You could go anywhere/do anything at all hours of the night. You were able to sleep through the night.

I miss it.

Some days I find myself on social media most of the day “looking” for something. What that “something” is I’m still not sure.

Maybe for the person I used to be? Maybe for the girl who didn’t let anyone or anything get in her way when it came to her career.

Now, I find myself just taking care of my daughter.

Not to say there’s anything wrong with that, but now, I want MORE.

I want more out of life.

I want to do more. I miss working. I miss being busy.

And, it’s okay to miss your life BEFORE kids.

So, how am I going to change my mindset? Where do I go “from here?”

It’s for me to decide how I want to spend the days/hours/years.

I either spend it missing my old life or by focusing on the new and beautiful memories I’m making with my daughter. There’s no reason why I can’t focus half my attention on my daughter and the other half on a career.

Thanks for listening. Thanks for allowing me to make you think.

Mama, You are Enough

It’s now comical to think back to when I was pregnant and assumed I’d finally have time to focus on my business when my daughter was born.

You see, while pregnant, I worked full-time, so most days I didn’t have the time or energy to dedicate to my business, so on maternity leave, I planned to launch my program.

INSERT LOL

Motherhood is hard enough, so why not put more pressure on myself to create an ENTIRE program? Right? Boy was I wrong.

You see, motherhood is a culmination of wanting ………

alone time

not wanting alone time

missing them

yelling

exhaustion

frustration

For me, I only have alone time during nap time (which I stay in the same room as my daughter and work) and it ends once she wakes up because we cuddle.

After she goes to bed, but by that time, I’m usually tired.

So, it’s a catch-22.

As a mom, you don’t think about how much you’ll miss the moments in which you continuously lose your shit because your kids are pushing your buttons.

You don’t think about how much you’ll miss them hanging on you 24/7.

You don’t think how one day you’ll long to hear “mama” just one more time.

You don’t think about how much you’ll miss putting them to bed and having them fall asleep in your arms.

These moments you’re living in will come to an end. They will grow up. They won’t need you in the same way and you’re going to miss it.

Each time they call for you, your heart skips a beat because you feel needed. You feel the tears welling inside your eyes as they ask for a hug. to hold hands, or for a kiss. You feel complete. Your soul feels full and you can finally breathe.

I want you to remember that you’re a great mom even if….

you lose your cool
you let them eat processed food once in a while
you need alone time
you let them watch TV

You are enough! Remember that.