Don't Forgot About Yourself!

I’ve been married for a little over 2 years now.

And, I’ve been with my husband a total of 5 YEARS. In 2013, we met, which was a few months after I graduated. At that time, I thought I was at the peak of my career and yearned to be a New York City girl reason being I had my 2nd internship at a magazine. I wanted to become a magazine writer and be engrossed in the magazine industry. Later on, I figured out that it was no longer something I was interested in due to the competitiveness.

I’d only see my now-husband a few times a week and weekends because of our schedules. We only lived 30 minutes away, but it felt like so much farther.

We had our alone time and I was still Hope and he was still Brett. We each had separate lives and we were two different people. I would focus on what I had to do and my goals and he did the same.

In 2014, I moved in with him and his parents. Then, in 2015, we moved to Tennessee. In 2016, we moved back to PA temporarily until 2017 when we moved in SC and have been here since.

But, sometimes I feel like I lost myself. I used to write in a journal almost every night, workout, and spend time by myself. I still workout, but don’t write as often as I used to. Part of it is because I don’t have as much time and my full-time job takes up most of my time, but still, I definitely don’t manage my time well enough.

So, if you’re engaged, in a relationship or married, PLEASE, PLEASE don’t forget about yourself. I know at times you should put your partner first sometimes, but always remember to take care of yourself too!

Here are few ideas for self-care:

1) Book a Massage.

2) Take a Bath.

3) Get your hair done.

4) Go to a yoga class.

5) Go for a walk alone.

6) Get your nails done.

7) Meditate.

8) Write.

9) Book a facial.

10) Go for a run.

Now, these are just suggestions above and they do not have to cost an arm and a leg. If you’re on a budget, I suggest getting a french manicure or even spending 30 minutes to pamper yourself. Bottom line is if YOU feel good, then everything around you will feel good and you’ll feel happier, more content and feel closer to your partner.

We Bought Our First House? WTF?

In 2013, Brett, my husband and I met on Okcupid. Was I expecting to meet a guy online? Hell no, but it happened and we fell in love. People tend to say they love our story. It is pretty unique.

At the time, we did not have stability, which I yearned for it so badly. After almost getting our own apartment together, we had to be adults and accept the fact that we were not making enough money to support ourselves. A few months later, we made the move to Tennessee.

Ahhh..

We were finally out on our own. Reality struck quick when I realized I no longer had my parents right around the corner.  I was crushed, but happy. That happiness only lasted a year because Brett lost his job. 

I watched his brother and sister-in-law purchase their first house. I was crushed, jealous , but happy for them. I was down in the dumps most of the time because I was comparing myself to his siblings. I know I shouldn't have been, but I couldn't help myself. 

A few months before losing his job, he asked for my hand in marriage on our 2-year anniversary. The next few months were spent in Pennsylvania back with his folks in their house and then sharing an apartment. My freedom was gone.

We then watched his parents purchase a brand new house. Again, I was jealous and stuck on the sidelines wondering when we would get the opportunity to buy a house or heck, live in an apartment with just the two of us.

I was sad, and most of the time dwelled on the negative. I spent my engagement working as a barista at a local community college hoping we'd get our own space again.

In March 2017, it happened. 

We moved to Greenville and had our own apartment once again. This time, I was fine with the distance. Was I sick of apartments? Yes, of course, but we had no choice. We took a risk moving here without concrete jobs. I only had a remote position while he had a possible job on the table. 

The apartment ended up being disappointing and we moved to another one down the road.  

Our lease is up in January and I originally said that I was done with apartments and was hoping our next step was a house. I mean, we are 30 and 29 years old and we have yet to find financial stability - until now. 

It's happening.

It's all happening so fast. Did I think it was going to be so soon? Nope, but I'm ready. Thinking back to 5 years ago to now is an incredible transformation. We've learned so much about life, each other, and have done so as a team. We've gone through these hard times together and came out stronger and smarter. 

Life is hard. I mean, sometimes it's down right cruel, but it's knowing how to weather to ups and downs with your significant other that counts. 

Did I think we were ever going to buy a house? Um...... I figured SOMEDAY, but not now. Am I proud? Of course. I'm proud of myself and my husband for having patience. Boy did I have patience though! Watching his family get everything I wanted so badly was a hard pill to swallow. Having to smile, grin and jump or joy while feeling dead inside was a struggle, but I had to do it. I had to wait for our opportunity.

We're next. 

This is it. Is it our final house? Nope. My plan is to be here for a few years then jump ship more toward family. Why? I think we're a tad too far from our family and I want my children to grow up knowing their aunts, uncle and grandparents.

But, we made it.

It certainly has not been easy, but it was definitely worth the wait!

#MillennialMarriage

Being married is hard.

You don't think about how tough it really is - until you tie the knot. One day you love him and then the next day you want to kill him. At the same time, between the hate and love sessions, screaming matches and plenty of arguments, love is beautiful. The fact that you found someone you love with all your heart - despite all their flaws - is simply incredible.

If you factor in student loans, trying to figure out who you are and your career, attempting to get pregnant, learning how to be an adult and possibly buying a house, it can get quite sticky. 

A few months ago, we finally paid off our student loans, and even though that was a huge sigh of relief, I still feel like we're in for more obstacles. Him and I have constantly run into hardships - like so many people our age. It's not easy being this age and even though next year I'll be 30, I still feel like I'm figuring out who I am. It has been a long and grueling process.

On top of that, I feel like I'm dragging my husband along for the ride and that's simply unfair. One day it's "I love this" and then the next day, I change my mind. And, I get his hesitation because I'd feel the same way if the roles were reversed. But, I think I finally figured it out! I feel like I finally hit the nail on the head. 

"I'll see it when I believe it," he says. Again, that's fair to say. Whatever I do effects him and vice versa. We're a team, which is something I forget sometimes. Instead of consulting with him, I usually just do my own thing. It's not like I HAVE to ask for permission, but keeping him in mind is something I don't always remember. 

For instance, I booked a trip back home to surprise my mom for her birthday and one day I casually told him I bought a plane ticket and asked if he could drive me to the airport. In a way I guess it's selfish, but thankfully I have a husband who is easy going. Of course he wants to know where I am and what I'm doing, but it's not like other couples who may need to ask for permission. 

To me, marriage is about two people who love each other learning how to work together and not drive each other crazy! 

In November, we will celebrate our 2nd year of marriage and I still feel like I'm getting to know my husband. I still feel like there is plenty more to come and we'll never stop learning about each other.

In general, I feel like you never stop retaining information. And, life is a journey and some days don't always the way we'd like them to go. 

Being an adult is hard some days and it's not easy getting up in the morning and going to work, but we're now grown-ups and we have responsibilities. We have bills to pay (ew) and we can't always lounge around like we'd like because life is not that simple. We need to put on our big girl panties and go out into the real world.

When it comes to millennials, you already know we're labeled as "lazy" and "entitled," but many of us actually working our butts off to get ahead in life and still get the short end of the straw..

My husband and I are prime examples. We went to college, pushed ourselves and are anything but lazy. And, yet, we're doing the best we can do and it's still not good enough for society. So... if you're a #millennialcouple and you pour your heart and soul into EVERYTHING you do, screw society! Just focus on your marriage and stop caring what everyone else thinks. Marriage is hard enough, so don't overcomplicate it by reading into the millennia labels.

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How Not To Be An A$$****

"Why do you have to eat so much food?" I asked my husband last night. He shot me a look and said, "because I'm hungry. I haven't really eaten much today."

And, he wasn't lying. From what I know, all he had was a bowl of cereal and a protein shake. That's not a lot of calorie intake and so, he must be starving. If I had that, I would be straight up HANGRY!

Sometimes I can be an a******.

When it comes to food, I'm rather obsessive. I feel rather compelled to control how he eats. He does have a binge eating disorder and so, he sometimes eats when he's not hungry and I'm not going down the road with him. Therefore, I tell him to eat when he's hungry and to stop overeating. But, honestly, it seems like I'm just downright nagging him and being a control freak.

Here's some advice:

Don't follow my lead and try to control your husband's eating habits. I believe there's an underlying issue and I'm determined to get to the root of it.

As a person, there are always aspects of ourselves we need to work on. We can grow and learn every day as human beings and show more kindness to our significant others. In order to have a happy and successful marriage, you MUST shut your mouth sometimes. Let him splurge a bit.

Does he ever say anything about my food intake? Heck no. Does he can? Not in the slightest, but I care about his and I need to stop being such an a**.

Leave your thoughts below.  Do YOU have any nagging qualities that drives your husband wild?

Want an Easy Date Idea? Here it is

I love nature and when I'm able to get some exercise, listen to the birds chirping and observe some BEAUTIFUL scenery, I'm a happy camper.

My husband planned a picnic at the SC Botanical Garden in Clemson. Beforehand, we tried a local coffee shop called "All in" Coffee Shop that served authentic handmade coffee beverages and also breakfast items.

Let's chat about what we ordered.

I asked for the Oregon Chai with coconut milk while my hubby ordered a strawberry chocolate mocha latte. Along with the coffee, we decided to get a chocolate chip scone + a cinnamon roll. It all tasted real and NOT served from a cardboard box. The icing on the cinnamon bun had the right amount of sugar and the scone wasn't as hard as a rock, which is usually how it tastes. I believe that the scone was just taken out of the oven moments ago because it was soft and chewy. I'm sure there are PLENTY more delightful treats at this coffee shop, but we just had the pleasure in trying two (unfortunately!) It's a shame Clemson is about a 40 minute drive or else, I'd be constantly visiting and would probably end up blowing up like a blimp.

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And, ps, guys, it's been a day and I'm still dreaming about those pastries. Go figure.

After this little coffee adventure, we made our way to the SC Botanical Garden where we took plenty of social media worth pictures + made memories in the process and even had an excellent lunch! PS - it was buffalo chicken sandwiches, which is one of the select few food we can agree on!

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If you're looking for a cheap afternoon date, I'd recommend prepping some sandwiches and heading to the local park!