This is How I Feel About Traveling Alone....

I sat in a restaurant at the bar waiting for my iced vanilla latte with almond milk and my breakfast bowl.  I was alone. And, I started to feel a sense of extreme loneliness.

I came to Oklahoma City for a work conference and it was no big deal when my president booked the hotel and flight until I got to the restaurant. I've ever gone out to eat by myself and so, I didn't know what to do. I seemed to be the only one who was by themself and I felt like the bartender was judging me. 

Do I pretend like I'm looking at something on my phone? Do I talk to the bartender, who seemed as if he didn't want to converse? No one was sitting near me, so there was no one to chat with. So, I sat there taking a few Instagram videos looking forward to getting back to the hotel where I wouldn't feel judged. It was pretty apparent that I already - mind you it's been 7 hours - missed my husband. Pathetic, much? Yeah, but I just felt so lonely. 

I've never traveled somewhere solely by myself. Sure - I've gone to PA and traveled by plane, but my brother and girlfriend picked me up at the airport and I was seeing family. I've also gone to Canada by myself, but again, I was meeting someone at the airport. This was THE first time I've been alone. I mean, tonight we're networking and registering for the conference, but leading up to that, I've just felt sad. 

I never focus on the fact that I'll be alone and I'm glad I don't, but it always surprises me whenever I feel this way. You SHOULD be alone sometimes and re-group because we all need time apart from our significant other. We need that time in order to truly appreciate them. I just feel like this day has been going on forever! I had a layover, which felt even longer and so, now I'm a tad confused as to what day it is! 

But, sometimes you need to step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes you need to feel uncomfortable because you learn more about yourself. So what if I miss my husband, that doesn't mean I won't mingle or network with my colleagues. That doesn't mean I'm not happy to be here. That doesn't mean that I'm not excited to learn.  It just means I prefer to travel with someone else, no big deal. I would say the common person likes to be with other people. 

How do YOU feel about traveling alone?  Leave your comments below.

It Hurts When They Leave....

They left at 4:00am this morning.

I opened my eyes after I heard my husband get up to say goodbye. A few minutes later, I listened as the front door opened and closed.

They were gone.

They had to make their way back home to Delaware to get back to their routine and we had to do the same. When I woke up and got ready for work, that feeling overcame by whole body. If you have family that lives in another state, you know the feeling of loneliness when they leave. It's a sinking feeling of emptiness. You've spent four consecutive days with these people only for them to leave. You're left wondering when the next time you see them will be. 

But, if you're the one who moved, it's inevitable. You're the one who made the choice to leave the area, so you need to deal with the sadness when they depart.  Tears don't stream down your face, but their presence is definitely missed.

You feel yourself getting excited days before they arrive because you never have guests. You plan, organize and rearrange your schedule for them. You feel happy to see familiar faces and get to spend time creating memories. One day they won't be here and so, you find yourself cherishing every single moment of each day. 

Even though you have to alter your routine for a few days, it's worth it. You feel happy in their presence and miss them because you don't get to see them that often.

We lived with my husband's folks the year before we got married. We had to move back into their house and then shared an apartment with them. It was rough on both parties, but we made the best of it. We tried our best to stay out of each other's hair.

Then, a year later, my husband and I moved our belongings to Greenville, SC. It was the second time we lived far from family, so this time, I didn't get emotional at the drop of a hat. I was happy to get my freedom back and have my own place again.

People often ask me if I miss my family. Those people don't understand because they have their family front and center and can hop in the car to see them whenever they want. Sometimes you have to go where the jobs are.

Did I choose to be THIS far from family? Did I see myself being 600 miles away from my family? No, but I wasn't able to find a job in PA. So, we had to make the choice to move. I do love Greenville, but I don't see myself living here forever. We both took a chance and moved here hoping things would pan out. Unlike Tennessee, this time it worked out for the best. 

So, on the days when I miss my family so much it hurts, I distract myself by focusing on something else. Working out, reading my magazines, writing, talking to a friend, drinking a good cup of coffee. I do anything to stop myself from burying myself. And, this is why I don't like visiting family or having family visit us because of how I feel when they leave.

For those of you who have had to relocate to another state away from family, I get it. I'm here for you. Need to chat? Email me: simplyrealhope@gmail.com