Sharing My LOVE STORY In Hopes That It Will Inspire You

October 6, 2013: Hey, that sounds like a really cool career path in writing but way to go in considering a pursuit of your health admiration!!!

I had no idea that the conversation I had with this guy on October 6, 2013 would turn into something even bigger than I EVER knew.

But, you have to start somewhere.

I’m not going to sugar-coat it or lie to you when I say that it has been easy because it hasn’t. When I first met my husband, he was closed off. He had never had a girlfriend and he was an angry person who bottled up his feelings. And, I’m not going to say I was perfect either because I was very immature and didn’t know how to handle situations in a mature manner.

We grew close very quickly and soon, he began to open up and his anger slowly began to diminish.

As for me, I was scared of my feelings. He was the first guy who I truly cared about. Sure, I had other boyfriends, but this was different.

Our love story is different because after 15 months of dating, we moved to another state that was 12+ hours away in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. and we were tested in more ways than 1.

It was then that we needed to see if we’d last.

There were days I’d doubt our relationship and felt breaking up was our best option. I pondered it one day as I lay in our apartment. And, he knew I had doubts.

Conversation after conversation drew me closer to the breaking point.

And, I didn’t feel like I could talk to anyone about my doubts for fear of the person telling me what I already knew - we needed a break.

Gosh, I was terrified.

But, there was always something there. There was something telling me that he was the one for me and reminding me that I was never going to find a flawless man. I would always find something to complain about. I would always find something about the person that drove me nuts.

And, then, just like that, the doubts were gone.

Then, in November 2015, he popped the question. But then, a few months later, we were presented with another test - he lost his job and we had to move back home.

Devastated and still immature, I handled it terribly instead of appreciating the fact that we had the option to move back home.

As time progressed, the doubts resurfaced.

In fact, the doubts resurfaced a few months before we got married. This is the part that no one knows about because I never disclosed this information. I held it in, but finally talked to him about it.

Did I believe it was a red flag. Duh. But, I also know myself and thinking that THE PERFECT MAN is out there for me WITHOUT FLAWS was ridiculous.

All I knew was I HAD to talk to him about my feelings.

We both had tears in our eyes as I explained to him that I wasn’t sure if we should get married due to his flaws.

Here were the 2 questions: would I ever be able to accept them OR would I dwell on them for the rest of my life?

I cried because I had no idea what I was doing. I knew I was madly in love with him and that I had to decide what I wanted.

He stressed the fact that he accepted my flaws and would love me no matter what. We barely spoke the rest of the evening and the next day, we revisited the conversation.

This was when I realized that I couldn’t keep doing this to him. It wasn’t fair that I kept questioning him as a person when he was the guy who would do anything for me and I saw through his actions that he was dependable and would always do his best to protect me and handle situations in a mature manner. You never had to ask him twice to do something because after you explained that you needed him, he would be there in a heartbeat and I never found that in another guy. So, I just knew.

We got married in November 2016.

But, there were still plenty more tests to endure.

In March 2017, we moved again without a plan. No concrete job. Then, he started his own business and I found a job.

A year later, we found a house, but money was always something that was concerning. All at the same time our heater broke, the windows in our house suddenly stopped working, our dog chewed my prescription glasses, we owed thousands of dollars for our income tax, and the list went on.

BUT.

One thing has remained the same. Our love for one another. Though, I’ve strayed from him a few times due to my insecurities, his flaws and my immaturity, at the end of the day, I still loved him.

Every couple has had ups and downs and has had to put out money they weren’t prepared for, but it’s all about finding a way to make it work.

Maybe your love story is a bit more complicated, simpler or easy to tell, but ours is nothing shy of a world-wind.

Just remembering at the end of the day that you’ll get through it together is the most important thing.

My hope is that this will inspire you. If your guy has flaws, just remember that NO ONE IS PERFECT and you will never find a man with every single characteristic that you’re looking for!

Every story has a different ending. If you can handle the bad along with the good, then more than likely it’s meant to be. But, if there’s something telling you that you’re making a mistake, you may want to ask yourself if it’s worth moving forward and starting your life with this person.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

Does he make you feel warm & fuzzy?

Does he give you butterflies?

Does he make you feel good about yourself?

Does he tell you truth and not sugar-coat it?

Does he listen when you need him?

Does he lift you up when you’re feeling down?

Does he encourage you or support you no matter what?

Is he there when you need him the most?

Is my relationship with my husband perfect? Absolutely not! Do we argue? Yes. Do we bicker about stupid stuff? Yup! Don’t believe EVERYTHING you read and hear on social media because it’s not true! It’s a facade that people put on. No one ever tells you about the bad. They always want to talk about the good, but I want to remind you that there WILL BE bad. Not everything is picture-perfect.

Remember that having a happy and healthy relationship is extremely crucial for your well-being. If you feel like your relationship isn’t what you thought, let’s chat!

If you’d like to schedule a FREE HEALTH CONSULTATION, CLICK ON THE LEARN MORE BUTTON BELOW 👇

We Bought Our First House? WTF?

In 2013, Brett, my husband and I met on Okcupid. Was I expecting to meet a guy online? Hell no, but it happened and we fell in love. People tend to say they love our story. It is pretty unique.

At the time, we did not have stability, which I yearned for it so badly. After almost getting our own apartment together, we had to be adults and accept the fact that we were not making enough money to support ourselves. A few months later, we made the move to Tennessee.

Ahhh..

We were finally out on our own. Reality struck quick when I realized I no longer had my parents right around the corner.  I was crushed, but happy. That happiness only lasted a year because Brett lost his job. 

I watched his brother and sister-in-law purchase their first house. I was crushed, jealous , but happy for them. I was down in the dumps most of the time because I was comparing myself to his siblings. I know I shouldn't have been, but I couldn't help myself. 

A few months before losing his job, he asked for my hand in marriage on our 2-year anniversary. The next few months were spent in Pennsylvania back with his folks in their house and then sharing an apartment. My freedom was gone.

We then watched his parents purchase a brand new house. Again, I was jealous and stuck on the sidelines wondering when we would get the opportunity to buy a house or heck, live in an apartment with just the two of us.

I was sad, and most of the time dwelled on the negative. I spent my engagement working as a barista at a local community college hoping we'd get our own space again.

In March 2017, it happened. 

We moved to Greenville and had our own apartment once again. This time, I was fine with the distance. Was I sick of apartments? Yes, of course, but we had no choice. We took a risk moving here without concrete jobs. I only had a remote position while he had a possible job on the table. 

The apartment ended up being disappointing and we moved to another one down the road.  

Our lease is up in January and I originally said that I was done with apartments and was hoping our next step was a house. I mean, we are 30 and 29 years old and we have yet to find financial stability - until now. 

It's happening.

It's all happening so fast. Did I think it was going to be so soon? Nope, but I'm ready. Thinking back to 5 years ago to now is an incredible transformation. We've learned so much about life, each other, and have done so as a team. We've gone through these hard times together and came out stronger and smarter. 

Life is hard. I mean, sometimes it's down right cruel, but it's knowing how to weather to ups and downs with your significant other that counts. 

Did I think we were ever going to buy a house? Um...... I figured SOMEDAY, but not now. Am I proud? Of course. I'm proud of myself and my husband for having patience. Boy did I have patience though! Watching his family get everything I wanted so badly was a hard pill to swallow. Having to smile, grin and jump or joy while feeling dead inside was a struggle, but I had to do it. I had to wait for our opportunity.

We're next. 

This is it. Is it our final house? Nope. My plan is to be here for a few years then jump ship more toward family. Why? I think we're a tad too far from our family and I want my children to grow up knowing their aunts, uncle and grandparents.

But, we made it.

It certainly has not been easy, but it was definitely worth the wait!

#MillennialMarriage

Being married is hard.

You don't think about how tough it really is - until you tie the knot. One day you love him and then the next day you want to kill him. At the same time, between the hate and love sessions, screaming matches and plenty of arguments, love is beautiful. The fact that you found someone you love with all your heart - despite all their flaws - is simply incredible.

If you factor in student loans, trying to figure out who you are and your career, attempting to get pregnant, learning how to be an adult and possibly buying a house, it can get quite sticky. 

A few months ago, we finally paid off our student loans, and even though that was a huge sigh of relief, I still feel like we're in for more obstacles. Him and I have constantly run into hardships - like so many people our age. It's not easy being this age and even though next year I'll be 30, I still feel like I'm figuring out who I am. It has been a long and grueling process.

On top of that, I feel like I'm dragging my husband along for the ride and that's simply unfair. One day it's "I love this" and then the next day, I change my mind. And, I get his hesitation because I'd feel the same way if the roles were reversed. But, I think I finally figured it out! I feel like I finally hit the nail on the head. 

"I'll see it when I believe it," he says. Again, that's fair to say. Whatever I do effects him and vice versa. We're a team, which is something I forget sometimes. Instead of consulting with him, I usually just do my own thing. It's not like I HAVE to ask for permission, but keeping him in mind is something I don't always remember. 

For instance, I booked a trip back home to surprise my mom for her birthday and one day I casually told him I bought a plane ticket and asked if he could drive me to the airport. In a way I guess it's selfish, but thankfully I have a husband who is easy going. Of course he wants to know where I am and what I'm doing, but it's not like other couples who may need to ask for permission. 

To me, marriage is about two people who love each other learning how to work together and not drive each other crazy! 

In November, we will celebrate our 2nd year of marriage and I still feel like I'm getting to know my husband. I still feel like there is plenty more to come and we'll never stop learning about each other.

In general, I feel like you never stop retaining information. And, life is a journey and some days don't always the way we'd like them to go. 

Being an adult is hard some days and it's not easy getting up in the morning and going to work, but we're now grown-ups and we have responsibilities. We have bills to pay (ew) and we can't always lounge around like we'd like because life is not that simple. We need to put on our big girl panties and go out into the real world.

When it comes to millennials, you already know we're labeled as "lazy" and "entitled," but many of us actually working our butts off to get ahead in life and still get the short end of the straw..

My husband and I are prime examples. We went to college, pushed ourselves and are anything but lazy. And, yet, we're doing the best we can do and it's still not good enough for society. So... if you're a #millennialcouple and you pour your heart and soul into EVERYTHING you do, screw society! Just focus on your marriage and stop caring what everyone else thinks. Marriage is hard enough, so don't overcomplicate it by reading into the millennia labels.

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The Truth about Marriage

Last week, my husband and I got into a petty fight. Was it worth ruining my Saturday to fight about something so trivial? 

Nope.

But, it happened and it will probably happen again. That's marriage though. Day by day, you learn what triggers your significant other and if you push too many buttons, that's it! It will turn into a full-blown argument and sometimes your plans will get ruined. 

Honestly, what I've learned about marriage and relationships in general is they are give and take, they're about sacrifice and at the end of the day, if you truly love your partner, you'll take their bullshit for better or worse. 

I'm not a therapist and nor am I an expert when it comes to relationships, but I know enough to provide struggling couples with suggestions on how to make their marriage work. 

Firstly, you must compromise. Maybe there's something that he wants to do and you don't or vice-versa. You need to figure out the best decision for the two of you. Maybe if you do this then you have to do an activity that he likes in return. Here's the thing though: my husband is the type who will NEVER make me do something I don't want to do. He leaves it up to me. If I want to go with him, I can, if I don't, his feelings won't be hurt. If you're like my husband, then maybe deciding whether or not you'd like to go works for you and your partner. 

Communication is key. Are you terrible at communicating? Well, you'll learn real fast that you cannot be like that in a relationship. You will never get anywhere without talking about the issue at hand. If he hurts my feelings, I find myself always retorting with something even more insulting and regret it as soon as the words leave my mouth. Bottom line is....think before you speak.

Sharing the workload. One of you shouldn't have to do the laundry, dishes or clean all the time. Your partner should be pitching in because you both live there and it's unfair to make it one person's responsibility. 

Honestly, my husband is one of a kind. He's anti-social, yet knows when to be social. He keeps to himself and surrounds himself with just a few friends. He never makes me feel guilty for not wanting to do something. When I start my petty argument routine and try to push him to the limit, that's it. It's hard for us to go about our day and pretend like nothing happened. If I continue to push him over and over again by saying the same thing, his mood and my mood will both go sour. 

But, this is marriage. Or, at least this is my marriage.

It's not always rainbows and butterflies like social media paints it out to be. I won't disclose when I'm fighting or arguing with my husband simply because it's no one's business and I hate being negative, so I keep that information to myself. 

Marriage is hard though. Some days, It's so f***ing hard that I don't want to deal with keeping it afloat. But at the same time, I love my husband and believe him to be worth the pain and agony that goes along with marriage, and that brings me back. 

Some days, I'm selfish and bitchy and he's an asshole. Other days, I'm loving and cuddly and he comes home with flowers. Then, there are days where we both do not care. And, I'm not perfect whatsoever and nor is he. I am the dramatic one and we end up in dumb arguments that could have easily been prevented. But, we're all human and we're constantly learning. 

People say marriage shouldn't be hard if you found the right one, That's bullshit! There will be days you struggle to maintain your relationship and other days where you're smooth sailing. It's just about how badly you want your marriage to work. 

Want to chat about marriage? Send me an email: simplyrealhope@gmail.com!

This is what you should do when you've been a bitch to your husband....

I've been sick for about two weeks now. 

When I came back from PA, a few weeks ago, I didn't expect to develop an upper respiratory infection. I've battling this sickness for the past almost three weeks and I must admit, I've been sort of a bitch to my husband. If that isn't honesty at its finest, I don't know what is!

And, you know you've been there before. More often than not, we take out our bad mood on our partner because it's easy. They're the one who lives with us and who is around when we get home after a bad day at work.

Do I intentionally act like this? Hell, no. I'd like to blame it on being sick, but it's also my attitude. Being sick has nothing to do with my husband, so feeling the need to take it out on him is quite immature. And, yet, I do. 

It's so hard to admit when we're wrong. It's so hard to just blurt out, "I'm sorry." As I look at my husband, the words want to jump out of my mouth, but I just can't say it. Do you ever feel that way? You feel like you should apologize, but something is holding you back. 

This is what you should do after you've been a bitch to your husband.

1) Make him his favorite meal or drink. Does he love hot chocolate? Maybe a huge hunk of meat? Whatever makes your hubby's mouth water, surprise him.

2) Write him a note. If you feel as if you've unable to express your feelings in words, instead write him a note describing how you feel. 

3) Give him a back massage. Has your man been feeling a bit stressed? If so, he'll definitely benefit from a back massage. Who knows, it could lead to something else...

4) Plan a day trip. You don't have to spend a ton of money, just a little to spend some one-on-one time with your man. Use this time to bond and get back to being your sweet self!

5) If you don't like any of these ideas, just apologize. If apologies are easy for you and you don't want to prolong your discussion, just say you're sorry. 

Why Watching My Wedding Video Made Me Feel Emotional

I am by no means an emotional person whatsoever - unless its a few days before my time of the month.

But, sometimes when I feel really overwhelmed or I have a realty check, it might bring on the tears. Ugh. I hate crying - especially in front of anyone.

A few months ago, we wanted to try and salvage our horrible wedding video, so we contacted a local videographer, who was able to download our wedding tapes onto a hard drive. So, tonight, I watched it and I found that there were many parts that were NOT included in the film that should have been. 

When we were slow dancing to our first song as a married couple, it brought me back to that day. It brought me back to that time in my life where I was so confused, overwhelmed and filled with sadness.  I would go back to that day in a heartbeat, but not around that time in my life.

Tonight, in the wedding video, I watched as Brett looked lovingly into my eyes, held me tightly as we slow-danced, pushed the hair out of my face and helped me put my shoes back on.  These moments were not in the original footage we were given.

This made me feel emotional because sometimes I take him for granted. Sometimes I don't appreciate the little things he does for me. I don't always cherish our time together and it's often spent yelling at him for an unknown reason. But, I'm human. We forget to appreciate what's in front of us because we're so busy wondering about everything else we have to do instead of concentrating on our loved ones. 

Let's be honest, marriage is hard, So hard. But.....you just have to learn how to make it work. You have to put forth the time and effort. But, it's definitely doable if you think it's worth it. 

Going back to my wedding day also reminded me how much I love my husband and why I fell in love with him in the first place. I love him because he supports me and loves me for who I am. He's sitting right across from me looking at me with his pretty brown eyes and it's making me melt. 

I just need to go back and watch it to remind myself not to spend so much time picking him apart when he's a great guy and a great husband. And, if you do the same, try to remind yourself why you fell for him and how much you appreciate what he does for you.

Try it! I dare you....

How Not To Be An A$$****

"Why do you have to eat so much food?" I asked my husband last night. He shot me a look and said, "because I'm hungry. I haven't really eaten much today."

And, he wasn't lying. From what I know, all he had was a bowl of cereal and a protein shake. That's not a lot of calorie intake and so, he must be starving. If I had that, I would be straight up HANGRY!

Sometimes I can be an a******.

When it comes to food, I'm rather obsessive. I feel rather compelled to control how he eats. He does have a binge eating disorder and so, he sometimes eats when he's not hungry and I'm not going down the road with him. Therefore, I tell him to eat when he's hungry and to stop overeating. But, honestly, it seems like I'm just downright nagging him and being a control freak.

Here's some advice:

Don't follow my lead and try to control your husband's eating habits. I believe there's an underlying issue and I'm determined to get to the root of it.

As a person, there are always aspects of ourselves we need to work on. We can grow and learn every day as human beings and show more kindness to our significant others. In order to have a happy and successful marriage, you MUST shut your mouth sometimes. Let him splurge a bit.

Does he ever say anything about my food intake? Heck no. Does he can? Not in the slightest, but I care about his and I need to stop being such an a**.

Leave your thoughts below.  Do YOU have any nagging qualities that drives your husband wild?