October 6, 2013: Hey, that sounds like a really cool career path in writing but way to go in considering a pursuit of your health admiration!!!
I had no idea that the conversation I had with this guy on October 6, 2013 would turn into something even bigger than I EVER knew.
But, you have to start somewhere.
I’m not going to sugar-coat it or lie to you when I say that it has been easy because it hasn’t. When I first met my husband, he was closed off. He had never had a girlfriend and he was an angry person who bottled up his feelings. And, I’m not going to say I was perfect either because I was very immature and didn’t know how to handle situations in a mature manner.
We grew close very quickly and soon, he began to open up and his anger slowly began to diminish.
As for me, I was scared of my feelings. He was the first guy who I truly cared about. Sure, I had other boyfriends, but this was different.
Our love story is different because after 15 months of dating, we moved to another state that was 12+ hours away in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. and we were tested in more ways than 1.
It was then that we needed to see if we’d last.
There were days I’d doubt our relationship and felt breaking up was our best option. I pondered it one day as I lay in our apartment. And, he knew I had doubts.
Conversation after conversation drew me closer to the breaking point.
And, I didn’t feel like I could talk to anyone about my doubts for fear of the person telling me what I already knew - we needed a break.
Gosh, I was terrified.
But, there was always something there. There was something telling me that he was the one for me and reminding me that I was never going to find a flawless man. I would always find something to complain about. I would always find something about the person that drove me nuts.
And, then, just like that, the doubts were gone.
Then, in November 2015, he popped the question. But then, a few months later, we were presented with another test - he lost his job and we had to move back home.
Devastated and still immature, I handled it terribly instead of appreciating the fact that we had the option to move back home.
As time progressed, the doubts resurfaced.
In fact, the doubts resurfaced a few months before we got married. This is the part that no one knows about because I never disclosed this information. I held it in, but finally talked to him about it.
Did I believe it was a red flag. Duh. But, I also know myself and thinking that THE PERFECT MAN is out there for me WITHOUT FLAWS was ridiculous.
All I knew was I HAD to talk to him about my feelings.
We both had tears in our eyes as I explained to him that I wasn’t sure if we should get married due to his flaws.
Here were the 2 questions: would I ever be able to accept them OR would I dwell on them for the rest of my life?
I cried because I had no idea what I was doing. I knew I was madly in love with him and that I had to decide what I wanted.
He stressed the fact that he accepted my flaws and would love me no matter what. We barely spoke the rest of the evening and the next day, we revisited the conversation.
This was when I realized that I couldn’t keep doing this to him. It wasn’t fair that I kept questioning him as a person when he was the guy who would do anything for me and I saw through his actions that he was dependable and would always do his best to protect me and handle situations in a mature manner. You never had to ask him twice to do something because after you explained that you needed him, he would be there in a heartbeat and I never found that in another guy. So, I just knew.
We got married in November 2016.
But, there were still plenty more tests to endure.
In March 2017, we moved again without a plan. No concrete job. Then, he started his own business and I found a job.
A year later, we found a house, but money was always something that was concerning. All at the same time our heater broke, the windows in our house suddenly stopped working, our dog chewed my prescription glasses, we owed thousands of dollars for our income tax, and the list went on.
One thing has remained the same. Our love for one another. Though, I’ve strayed from him a few times due to my insecurities, his flaws and my immaturity, at the end of the day, I still loved him.
Every couple has had ups and downs and has had to put out money they weren’t prepared for, but it’s all about finding a way to make it work.
Maybe your love story is a bit more complicated, simpler or easy to tell, but ours is nothing shy of a world-wind.
Just remembering at the end of the day that you’ll get through it together is the most important thing.
My hope is that this will inspire you. If your guy has flaws, just remember that NO ONE IS PERFECT and you will never find a man with every single characteristic that you’re looking for!
Every story has a different ending. If you can handle the bad along with the good, then more than likely it’s meant to be. But, if there’s something telling you that you’re making a mistake, you may want to ask yourself if it’s worth moving forward and starting your life with this person.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
Does he make you feel warm & fuzzy?
Does he give you butterflies?
Does he make you feel good about yourself?
Does he tell you truth and not sugar-coat it?
Does he listen when you need him?
Does he lift you up when you’re feeling down?
Does he encourage you or support you no matter what?
Is he there when you need him the most?
Is my relationship with my husband perfect? Absolutely not! Do we argue? Yes. Do we bicker about stupid stuff? Yup! Don’t believe EVERYTHING you read and hear on social media because it’s not true! It’s a facade that people put on. No one ever tells you about the bad. They always want to talk about the good, but I want to remind you that there WILL BE bad. Not everything is picture-perfect.
Remember that having a happy and healthy relationship is extremely crucial for your well-being. If you feel like your relationship isn’t what you thought, let’s chat!