It Hurts When They Leave....

They left at 4:00am this morning.

I opened my eyes after I heard my husband get up to say goodbye. A few minutes later, I listened as the front door opened and closed.

They were gone.

They had to make their way back home to Delaware to get back to their routine and we had to do the same. When I woke up and got ready for work, that feeling overcame by whole body. If you have family that lives in another state, you know the feeling of loneliness when they leave. It's a sinking feeling of emptiness. You've spent four consecutive days with these people only for them to leave. You're left wondering when the next time you see them will be. 

But, if you're the one who moved, it's inevitable. You're the one who made the choice to leave the area, so you need to deal with the sadness when they depart.  Tears don't stream down your face, but their presence is definitely missed.

You feel yourself getting excited days before they arrive because you never have guests. You plan, organize and rearrange your schedule for them. You feel happy to see familiar faces and get to spend time creating memories. One day they won't be here and so, you find yourself cherishing every single moment of each day. 

Even though you have to alter your routine for a few days, it's worth it. You feel happy in their presence and miss them because you don't get to see them that often.

We lived with my husband's folks the year before we got married. We had to move back into their house and then shared an apartment with them. It was rough on both parties, but we made the best of it. We tried our best to stay out of each other's hair.

Then, a year later, my husband and I moved our belongings to Greenville, SC. It was the second time we lived far from family, so this time, I didn't get emotional at the drop of a hat. I was happy to get my freedom back and have my own place again.

People often ask me if I miss my family. Those people don't understand because they have their family front and center and can hop in the car to see them whenever they want. Sometimes you have to go where the jobs are.

Did I choose to be THIS far from family? Did I see myself being 600 miles away from my family? No, but I wasn't able to find a job in PA. So, we had to make the choice to move. I do love Greenville, but I don't see myself living here forever. We both took a chance and moved here hoping things would pan out. Unlike Tennessee, this time it worked out for the best. 

So, on the days when I miss my family so much it hurts, I distract myself by focusing on something else. Working out, reading my magazines, writing, talking to a friend, drinking a good cup of coffee. I do anything to stop myself from burying myself. And, this is why I don't like visiting family or having family visit us because of how I feel when they leave.

For those of you who have had to relocate to another state away from family, I get it. I'm here for you. Need to chat? Email me: simplyrealhope@gmail.com

Surprising my mom for Mother's Day + her birthday

A few months ago, I saw a photo of my mother and I standing  in front of her van and I began to tear up. Now, again, I'm not an emotional person, but of course I miss my family. So.... I decided to fly home for my mom's birthday and mother's day.

The only ones who knew were my brothers and their significant others. My dad nor anyone else knew I was coming.

My younger brother + his girlfriend picked me up at the Trenton airport this past Friday and the plan was to get dinner at their place and then head over to my parents house. When the time came, I was quite nervous because I hate surprises. I asked my brother's gf to get it on film and you can watch it for yourself below. 

My mother, on the other hand, is an emotional person, so naturally when she saw me, she cried. My dad told me he had a feeling I was coming home, but they both just shrugged it off.

I was really looking forward to meeting their dog, Fido, who ran up to me as soon as he saw me. 

We spent the weekend catching up, eating dinner together, playing video games, shopping + getting our nails done.  

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It was nice to spend time with my family. But, the north is just too darn expensive and there's not much to do. Also, we wanted to take a risk and move somewhere new. That sort of experience tests your relationship. It makes your relationship stronger and you tend to lean on your partner a bit more.

I got cozy with my parents dog because I missed my two doggies. We cuddled + spent plenty of time together.

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Yesterday, was Mother's Day and my family came over to celebrate. We made eggplant parm + played a game. Honestly, we could have done more activities, but it's not always about doing ACTIVITIES, sometimes just being together is much more enjoyable. 

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The worst part about visiting is leaving. I always end up feeling empty and sad because not knowing the next time I'll see my family upsets me, but I chose this, so I need to be able to handle it.  It hurts though because I don't get to see them every day, but at the same time, I love Greenville and I love all the possibilities it has to offer.. So, even though I get rather sad when I leave my family, I'm happy to come back.

Until next time, PA.