Melancholy; a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause

On a Friday evening, I started feeling sad. If you asked me, "what's wrong?" I would probably shrug and the tears might form in my eyes. 

You ever have those days where you can't explain why your throat feels like it's clenching? If you're not an emotional person - like myself - it's even harder to comprehend. I guess it's normal to have those days though. I suppose everyone goes through melancholy.

It's how you handle it that counts the most. It's distracting yourself and finding ways to bring up your mood. Though, sometimes, nothing seems to work and you can just end up basking in your sadness without a solution. 

When you feel this way, here are a few things to do.

1) Go for a run. Clear your head with music that makes you happy. 

2) Call a friend. Your bestie knows you better than anyone else, so she will definitely be able to cheer you up in a jiffy!

3) Write. Put your feelings into words and try t o make sense of how you're feeling.

4) Go out for coffee with a friend. Discussing your feelings and thoughts might be exactly what you need.

5) Put on some tunes and dance. Music is rather smoothing and sometimes cures a bad mood. 

Lastly, if you ever need to talk, be sure to reach out. I'm here for you: simplyrealhope@gmail.com.

I Lost Another Friend?

Another one bites the dust.

I keep losing friends like Sally keeps losing weight, inch by inch and slowly, but surely my list has grown smaller. Okay, maybe I’m being a bit dramatic, but its seems I lost another friend.

This one was someone who I grew up with. She was one of my first friends. She was my next door neighbor whom I grew up with, played barbies with and celebrated birthdays with every year. This was the same one I shed tears when she let me know she was moving away when we were children.

About 20 years later, my mom reconnected with her while in a bookstore and knew she looked familiar. They immediately began talking and before I knew it, her and I were chatting through skype, text and facebook messanger since I lived in Tennesssee.

When my husband lost his job and I had to come back to PA, the bond between her and I grew and I even asked her to be one of my bridesmaids. I was so proud for her to stand by my side on one of the best days of my life.

A few months later, I broke the news that I was moving to South Carolina. In my gut, I knew our friendship wouldn’t be the same, but putting forth effort and making time to chat could work as long as it was reciprocated on both ends.

Fast forward to 6 months of living in the good Ol’ South. I hadn’t heard from her; not even a “hey, how are you? Hey, how was the move?” Sure, I get she’s busy, but as am I. And, my best friend, who lives in Portland makes time for me and in return, I do the same.

When I messaged her on her birthday and let her know how hurt I was that she hadn’t spoken with me, she brushed it off. She acted as if it wasn’t a big deal, when I’ve always been the one who put forth more effort to maintain our friendship. She didn’t even find it necessary to let me know she broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years. This was the same guy she talked about over and over again; this was the same guy I met and really liked.

I couldn’t stop the tearing from forming in my eyes as I accepted the fact that she simply doesn’t care. This is the third time it’s happened to me. You’d think I’d be used to it, but how do you get used to people using and abusing you?

It Hurts When They Leave....

They left at 4:00am this morning.

I opened my eyes after I heard my husband get up to say goodbye. A few minutes later, I listened as the front door opened and closed.

They were gone.

They had to make their way back home to Delaware to get back to their routine and we had to do the same. When I woke up and got ready for work, that feeling overcame by whole body. If you have family that lives in another state, you know the feeling of loneliness when they leave. It's a sinking feeling of emptiness. You've spent four consecutive days with these people only for them to leave. You're left wondering when the next time you see them will be. 

But, if you're the one who moved, it's inevitable. You're the one who made the choice to leave the area, so you need to deal with the sadness when they depart.  Tears don't stream down your face, but their presence is definitely missed.

You feel yourself getting excited days before they arrive because you never have guests. You plan, organize and rearrange your schedule for them. You feel happy to see familiar faces and get to spend time creating memories. One day they won't be here and so, you find yourself cherishing every single moment of each day. 

Even though you have to alter your routine for a few days, it's worth it. You feel happy in their presence and miss them because you don't get to see them that often.

We lived with my husband's folks the year before we got married. We had to move back into their house and then shared an apartment with them. It was rough on both parties, but we made the best of it. We tried our best to stay out of each other's hair.

Then, a year later, my husband and I moved our belongings to Greenville, SC. It was the second time we lived far from family, so this time, I didn't get emotional at the drop of a hat. I was happy to get my freedom back and have my own place again.

People often ask me if I miss my family. Those people don't understand because they have their family front and center and can hop in the car to see them whenever they want. Sometimes you have to go where the jobs are.

Did I choose to be THIS far from family? Did I see myself being 600 miles away from my family? No, but I wasn't able to find a job in PA. So, we had to make the choice to move. I do love Greenville, but I don't see myself living here forever. We both took a chance and moved here hoping things would pan out. Unlike Tennessee, this time it worked out for the best. 

So, on the days when I miss my family so much it hurts, I distract myself by focusing on something else. Working out, reading my magazines, writing, talking to a friend, drinking a good cup of coffee. I do anything to stop myself from burying myself. And, this is why I don't like visiting family or having family visit us because of how I feel when they leave.

For those of you who have had to relocate to another state away from family, I get it. I'm here for you. Need to chat? Email me: simplyrealhope@gmail.com